HOW LIFE CAN CHANGE IN A HEARTBEAT
On October 24, 2014, my husband and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. He particularly was excited about it and asked me if we could have a reception or party. I planned on having a reception in our church's Fellowship Hall, but our friend, Marie Bennington, told me that she wanted to have a party for us. Since the 24th was a Friday, Marie planned the party for Saturday, October 25. She had help from two of our other dear friends, Helen Tarbet and Betty Nicely.
It was wonderful and my husband was so happy he couldn't quit smiling. We have a picture of us framed and sitting in our living room, his smile as big as I've ever seen it.
I tell you all of this to emphasize how quickly life and circumstances can change.
On November 9, 2014 at 4:00 a.m., I was awakened by a loud scream. In the past when Clayton felt bad and thought he needed me or a doctor, he would come to the steps and call my name, so this loud scream scared me half to death. I raced downstairs and found him lying on the floor between the living room and the dining area. He couldn't talk and he couldn't stand up. It was terrifying to me and to him. I quickly ran and called 911. The EMTs arrived and unlike other times, they did not take vitals, ask questions, or hook him up to anything. They quickly ran back to the truck, brought in the gurney and loaded him up. They sat outside the house for a while, talking to the hospital and doing whatever they do in such an emergency.
My life has forever changed. While he is improving, I don't believe he will ever come completely back from the stroke. For the most part, his speech is back. In the morning when he wakes up, he is still a little confused and has a hard time expressing himself. His right side was affected and since that is his dominant side, that has presented a few problems. He has learned to eat with his left hand. (On a lighter note, maybe I should try eating with my right hand - not so much would get down - a unique way of dieting!)
When I transfer him from bed to wheel chair to recliner I have to get on his injured side so he can help me by using his good leg. The problem with that is I have a very painful left shoulder (I am left dominant!) but I have only let him go down once! He said he couldn't get back up and I said, "Yes, you can! Get your good leg under you." Up he came, with me for the most part, lifting him.
Our Church family has been phenomenal! Food and food gift cards and calls and offers of help have been such a blessing. We feel so blessed to call First Baptist of Wheeling our church home. We have two phenomenal pastors and wonderful giving and kind friends. We both agree that for the first time in our married life and all of his illnesses, we are not going through this alone. Of course, God is always with us and we lean on Him for day-to-day strength to keep going. I must confess I have had some "talks" with Him about why this happened to my husband and realize that being a Christian does not mean we are immune from troubles, sickness and even death. It means that we will not go through this alone - He is with us even when we find it hard to feel His presence.
The "good" part is we have become closer. He is very grateful and is so sweet to me, it almost makes me cry. We have had issues. When I have to run to the store or Wal-Mart or anywhere, I can practically guarantee in 15 to 20 minutes he will call me on my cell and ask, "Where are you?" I finally told him to watch the clock and give me time to get wherever I was going, get whatever I needed and get back home. It is helping but he still gets anxious if I am gone too long.
We have hired a wonderful caretaker for him since I have gone back to work. She is literally a godsend. She helps him with therapy, gets him lunch, does laundry and straightens the house while I am at work. At first, he didn't want anyone but me doing personal things for him, but Terri said for me to be patient, that he would get used to her and so it is.
We are making it work. It is not easy, mainly because he gets so anxious when I am not there. But he is adjusting to Terri and I am adjusting to life being different.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Mall person. I love the Mall at Christmas time, particularly. But, I got through it. No Christmas shopping was done except what I had done prior to his stroke (which was very little). No one dumped me because they didn't get a gift. My pet project at Church, The Awana Christmas Store for the kids went as scheduled with lots of help from church members.
I am not bowling on Tuesday nights, but I am now pre-bowling over the weekend. As a matter of fact, my team might not let me bowl during League play, since I've done so much better pre-bowling.
We are still adjusting to our new life, but I am so glad my husband is still here, knows me, can communicate well and is improving. As a matter of fact, his memory is better than mine!
I am so fortunate to work for Bordas & Bordas. I have had to miss work entirely or work shorter days and admittedly, my mind is not always on my work. Jamie, who is the managing partner, always tells me to do what I need to do to help Clayton. I do not take that for granted.
I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, but it has had its bittersweet times, like when he says he loves me and says, "Goodnight sweetheart."
On October 24, 2014, my husband and I celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. He particularly was excited about it and asked me if we could have a reception or party. I planned on having a reception in our church's Fellowship Hall, but our friend, Marie Bennington, told me that she wanted to have a party for us. Since the 24th was a Friday, Marie planned the party for Saturday, October 25. She had help from two of our other dear friends, Helen Tarbet and Betty Nicely.
It was wonderful and my husband was so happy he couldn't quit smiling. We have a picture of us framed and sitting in our living room, his smile as big as I've ever seen it.
I tell you all of this to emphasize how quickly life and circumstances can change.
;)
