I'm in a transitional period in my life right now. I'm still adjusting to waking up at 7:15 a.m. every morning, making myself look presentable enough for a professional setting, and working a 9-5 job. I can't roll out of bed five minutes before my class or shift at the Copy Center, throw on sweatpants and a hoodie, and be on my merry way half-asleep anymore. Difficult as this transition has been, I can honestly say that I'm very happy with the way my life is panning out.
On the other hand, someone very special to me is also going through a transitional period, though his is not going as smoothly as mine. He's at a job he's not crazy about in a city he couldn't dislike more. He continues to come up with big ideas that will serve as a sort of "quick fix" to get him out of the job and the city that he's never been fond of. The big ideas look good on paper, but they, too, always come up a bit short. Maybe he should just suck it up and stick it out? It's not easy seeing him like this, but it can't be this difficult forever; things are bound to get better there. After all, the job does pay well.
When you see someone you care about struggling, your immediate instinct is to help him or her in any way possible. What can I do to make his situation easier, especially when I'm several hours away? After all, at twenty-two years old and barely into the professional world at all, what do I know about career decisions? I've spent many nights wide awake recently, wracking my brain and trying to come up with some way to fix all of this. It finally dawned on me months into the entire ordeal: tell him to do what makes him happy.
Tell him to do what makes him happy. It's an extremely simple concept, really. Could I tell him to pack up his life, his career, and everything else he's acquired since moving away and just come home whether he's secured a definite life- and/or career-plan or not? Risky (and perhaps foolish) though it may be, that's exactly what I should have been telling him all along. Decisions like the one he's currently faced with should not be based on how much money a position will pay, what others are telling him to do, or the distorted picture that society paints of what success entails. Success isn't measured in dollar signs, but rather the happiness that you possess and in turn provide to others, and I should have communicated this notion to him a long, long time ago.
The "him" I keep referring to in this blog is my fiancé. He's my best friend, and seeing him so unhappy is heartbreaking. I realize now that I never should have encouraged him to remain at the job in the city he doesn't like, assuring him that things would be better after the initial adjustment period ended. Big-city life has really made him miss the relaxed, peaceful lifestyle of the Ohio Valley that both of us grew up with, and who am I to tell him that he shouldn't come back here until he gets real experience somewhere else? It's time for him to start making decisions based on what will make him happy today, tomorrow, five and ten years down the road, rather than the amount of money he could make somewhere.
I'm very grateful for my opportunity at Bordas & Bordas. I never dreamed I'd be so happy at my fresh-out-of-college position. I know my fiancé will find the same happiness very soon, and I'll be helping him look for it every step of the way. And so from here on out, this blog and all its readers as my witness, I'm not advising anyone to make, nor am I making personally, any life-decisions based on monetary value. Money comes and goes, but the happiness you acquire and give to others lasts a lifetime.